யாம் பெற்ற இன்பம் பெறுக ! இவ்வையகம் !!

Saturday, October 20, 2007

A for Apple -- S for Solitude !


தானாக கோடு போட்டு, அதன் மேலும், கீழுமாகவும்,அல்லது அதன் மேலேயேவோ செல்வது என்ற இயல்புப் படியே இதுவரை என் பதிவுகள் இருந்து வந்திருக்கின்றன. சுருங்கச் சொன்னால், என் இஷ்டப்படியே என் பதிவுகளும், அதன் சாராம்சங்களும்.

இப்போது புதிதான ஒரு அனுபவம் தரும் வண்ணம், குமார் அவர்களின் உந்துதலின் பேரில், என்னுள் நான் விரும்பும், வளர்க்க ஆசைப்படும் இயல்புகளைப் பற்றித் தனித்தனிப் பதிவுகளாக எழுத முயன்றால் என்ன..என்ற எண்ணத்தோடே, இப்பதிவானது சம்ர்பிக்கப்படுகிறது.

உங்க சொந்தகதை, சோகக்கதைலாம் எதுக்குங்க இங்க...! என்ற எதார்த்த எண்ணமிருப்பவர்கள், பின் வரும் ஒரு சில பதிவுகளை, ஒரு குறிப்பிட்ட தலைப்பில், நான் சொல்ல விருப்பப்படும் கருத்துக்களாக மட்டும் கொள்ளுமாறு கேட்டுக்கொள்கிறேன்.

Solitude - தமிழில் இதற்கு " தனிமை" என்ற பொருள். பொதுவாகவே, தனிமை என்பதே ஏதோ, வெறுமையான உணர்வு போலவும், ஒவ்வாத ஒன்றாகவுமே சித்தரிக்கப் பட்டிருக்கிறது. அடடா..! தனிமை என்னை இப்படி வாட்டுகிறதே என்று புலம்புவதற்கும், ஆகா..! என்ன ஒரு அருமை இந்தத் தனிமை - என்று புளகாங்கிப்பதற்கும் நிறைய வேறுபாடுகள்: உண்டல்லவா.

ஆங்கிலத்தில் சொல்லவேண்டுமானால்..,

Like to be alone is completely different from feeling loneliness. A person who like to be alone, chooses the environment where he/she feels the enjoyment within himself/herself. It is a tendency of being detached from the group, without planning or trying to be alone from the group. No one can do any practice to develop that tendency of being alone.

The exact meaning for loneliness is unhappy .Because you have no friends or people to talk to, you feel the loneliness. Loneliness is a sad feeling feel by a person when he misses something aroud him. But aloneness is, something , a person like to be with.


I am not saying, being alone is heaven for someone who really don’t want to be alone. There are people who like to be with a group, like to share things with the group. I am not declaring , aloneness fetches you heaven in earth, if you adopt that. Instead, I said, the people who like to be alone finds more enjoyment with their aloneness.

I can even say in a simple way too. Sharing needs two people atleast. If the other person , whom we like to share our things may differ from the thoughts of what we share to him/her. Sharing expects recognition.

Why we like to share things?.

We like to put ourself in a comfort zone by sharing. It is one of the way of getting recognition from the person to whom we share our things. Its all depend upon the person. We would like to share our things to people who are ready to listen/accept/console. Sharing doesn’t mean to be positive all the time. It also includes criticisms/difference of opinions.

Sharing can happen with a person often, if he/she gives you the comfort of understanding. We cant share things with everyone, even when we like to be in the group. Sharing is possible only with people who has better understanding about us and about the concept what we deliver. It’s a kind of happiness we feel, when someone really understand us or listen us wholeheartedly. Most of the people prefer to share things with others. They feel some peace by sharing.

The people who prefer to be alone feels the same peace , even they are out of group. I am not degrading the people who like to be with the group. But I can say, for SOME, being alone is preferable and they feel more enjoyment while they are alone compare to be with the group.

So(w) I am :)

12 comments:

pria said...

Being alone sometimes really feels good. But shud never be lonely at all coz it can lead to depression.

Alone in your thoughts and mind do make things better in bringing back those good memories and how you analyze things well.

Kumar said...

Sowmya,

That is brilliant! Superb in its simplicity...

Priya has touched the essence - lonliness leads to depression.
How true!

That rings in a quote ...I love it for the sheer power of these words...

"Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is the richness of self."

...and of course, unable to resist quoting Lewis Caroll here...

"I love the stillness of the wood:

I love the music of the rill:

I love to couch in pensive mood

Upon some silent hill. -

Scarce heard, beneath yon arching trees,

The silver-crested ripples pass;

And, like a mimic brook, the breeze

Whispers among the grass. -

Here from the world I win release,

Nor scorn of men, nor footstep rude,

Break in to mar the holy peace

Of this great solitude."


That's a splendid post Sowmya, I just can't wait for the next post...get going :)

Sowmya said...

Priya

well, its all about people choices , whether they like to be alone most of the time.

And again, depression is just a state of mind, due to the loneliness you feel within you and that happens when you are not able to connect with more/some people, if you have a desire for attachment .

Sowmya said...

Kumar,

Thanks for your kind words. its all becoz of you :)

kuppan said...

Kuppan_2007 says:

Tanimai Ini Nirandaram (Balakumarn book title).

Bala solra Tanimai thaan ninga virumbringa (nama virumbrom) ninaikkiren.

Adhavathu kootathula iruppom but manasukkula oru tani ulagam run aagite irukkum. Patru illatha nilai maadri.

Kalyaana veetula iruppom but manasukkule taniya vera sindanai oditte irukkum.

Priya 2 vidhamana tanimai irukku, onnu ellathukkum bayandhu veruthu virakthi adanchu poi tanimayaga iruthal (adhula depression vara chance undu).

Innondru naamale virumbi tanimaya iruthal. adula niraya sandhosam kidaikkum. Oralavu vaazkkai sootchumam purinchu, tirupthi nilai adainchu, aasaigalai kurachukkutu (adaya mudiyaathunnu terinchu, lol)Tanimayaga irundhu sandhosamaga iruthal.


Naam tanimayaiga irukkalam but namadhu kudumba poruppukalai muzumayaga niraivetri konde irukka vendum (like spending time with wife,kids etc).Otherwise it is selfisness.

But Tanimai is also an addiction. Enakkum indha tanimai noi undu.

Matrum oru nalla post pottadharkku manamaarndha nandrigal, vaazthukkal.

Kuppan_2007

Sowmya said...

kuppan,

Addiction na, ungalai athu ittu sellkirathu andra arthap padukirathu.

athavathu veliya vara asai pattum , athu mudiala nu arthap paduthu.

appadiya??

illai..athu than venum nu thonutha??

Anonymous said...

Kuppan-2007 says

Tanimai vendum endru tondrukiradhu but adhu sariyaa tavarannu oru kuzappam.

Enakku Tanimai niraya magizchi kodukirathu. Melum sandhosamaaga manadhai vaithu kolvadhu endra sootchumam puriya todangi vitathu.

nandriyudan
Kuppan-2007

sk said...

hahaha... thanks for starting the discussion. ;)

IMHO, being alone or feeling lonely depends on "how much you are happy with/being yourself" or how much "full/empty" you are with "yourself".

More often than not, we are afraid to be with 'ourselves'; we seek to fill the emptiness with noises from outside. Again, IMHO, only those who can be alone would have easy/comfortable/unrestrictive relationships, for the simple reason that those who feel lonely tend to restrict others, in their efforts to "fill themselves with others" and get out of loneliness.

Sowmya said...

hi kuppan,

Thavara, sariya kettu parkamal irukave mudivathillai illaya.

"sari" enbatharkku thani uvamaanamum, "thavaru" enbatharkku undana uvamanathaiyum solla mudiuma! :)

Sowmya said...

hey sk,

## More often than not, we are afraid to be with 'ourselves'; we seek to fill the emptiness with noises from outside. Again, IMHO, only those who can be alone would have easy/comfortable/unrestrictive relationships, for the simple reason that those who feel lonely tend to restrict others, in their efforts to "fill themselves with others" and get out of loneliness.##

Damn good points :) well said !!

Arunk said...

When we *like* to be alone, its just that we like our company more than any others at that time. So we really dont prefer other's company and want to be "left alone". How can that be good except from a selfish standpoint :) ? We want to be left alone so no one bothers us - at the same time we don't bother (nor help) others. At those times when you would rather be alone - when someone (say not your most beloved), needs something from you, would you compromise your needing to be alone?

(PS: Dont get me wrong. I like to be alone too at times too.)

Sowmya said...

hi Arun,

Here, I talk about the people who mostly like to be alone.I mean, who prefer to be alone most of the time.That doesn't mean that they avoid others while others need to be with them.

What I try to mention here is, people like me ,feel more comfortable and happy while we are alone than with somebody or with the group.

Plz refer this link

http://ennasitharalgal.blogspot.com/
2007/07/blog-post_21.html